Coping

Well, I've had better weeks before that is for sure. It seemed so surreal when I found out that my grandpa passed away on Tuesday. The ridiculous part was that I saw my uncle's Facebook status saying that he had died at two that afternoon before I had even heard anything from my family. Even though I knew it was coming soon, it still shocked me, like being doused with cold water. I was shocked yes, but sadness wasn't one of my initial emotions. I wondered about that for a while, and I think that it won't really be real until I get back with my family. It's so easy to be distracted by other things in college, and it hasn't been hard for me to remain positive, smile, and laugh with my friends. For a little while I felt really bad about that. I should be crying and depressed shouldn't I? But I don't think my reaction has been a bad one or an inappropriate one either. It's all about how you cope. I know I'll cry and cry when I actually go to the funeral and it all becomes a little more final, but it really has been a blessing to have all of these distractions so that I don't have to sit and think about it. I know my grandpa is in a much better place, and he is finally done suffering. I'm so grateful for that, and I try to think about that in the moments where the grief creeps up on me. I've been so lucky that all of my professors have been incredibly understanding, and my friends have really been a comfort and a distraction to me. It's been a hard week, but I know I'll make it through because I have great friends, a great family, and a faith that I can always cling to no matter what. So now I'll end this depressing blog and hope that I have many more positive things to write about in the future. But really, I'm in a good place and I know that I'll get through it with all of the support I have behind me including my grandpa!

Home

I decided to write this last week's blog on sunday even though it was supposed to be for last week. This is because I waited until my entire experience of going home for the first time was over, including the trip back. I was very nervous and excited to go home for the first time. I was nervous because I would be making the drive alone, and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel when I got back home. After visiting my roomate's hometown, I saw that it wasn't exactly what he thought it was going to be like because things are really different now. I was worried about how I would feel about being home even though I was really excited to go back. The drive was no problem, which was very comforting because I know I can make it back whenever I need or want to. So I could check one worry off my list, but there was still one more. After taking sometime to think about how I felt, I realized I was in a good place in the way I was feeling. I loved being home. It was really nice to be back in my own house and see my family. I got to sleep in my own bed and eat home-cooked food, plus I also got to see some of friends. I got to go to a football game and see a band competition, which was really fun even though it was cold and rainy. But I also realized that I missed Wartburg too. I missed the friends that I have made here, and I even kind of missed my room a little bit. So I thought to myself that it was a great position to be in because I wouldn't really be that sad when I had to go back, and I would always be excited to go back home too. It was a huge relief knowing that I would be ok with whereever I was at, and I could cross the other worry off my list. Now I'm ready to start another week, and I'm already going back home next weekend for a wedding. I get to see one of my best friends, and I'm really excited for that. Hopefully it's a good week and another fun weekend!

Justin

Animal Dreams

Oh Animal Dreams, how conflicted I feel over whether I enjoyed you or not. There are definite parts of this book that I enjoyed, and it definitely wasn't the worst book I've ever been forced to read (that honor would be a tie between The Jungle and The Grapes of Wrath). The best part of the book was that I could follow the story pretty well, and it actually kept me interested because I wanted to know what was going to happen to the characters. I also liked the different cultural experiences the audience got to experience along with Codi. However, there were definitely tedious parts to read. I don't mind when books make me think some, but when they use so much description or philisophical phrases, it becomes difficult for me to stay focused. I liked how Codi was a complex dynamic character that we got to see change over the course of the book, but she also annoyed me at certain points in the story. I got really sick of her always comparing herself to her sister, and at times i wanted to yell "just be your own person." So i was glad to see that those parts about her changed. The ending I thought was well done because I felt like Hali needed to die for Codi to really change, and I was glad that Codi found the home she had been looking for all along. Overall, I think I liked this book because when you cut straight to heart of it, it had a narrative that was interesting and kept me engaged. Although I could have dealt without some of the fluff in the story, I guess I have to admit that I enjoyed the book more than I disliked it. There I said it!

College Life/Home Life

This weekend my roomate invited me to go back with him to his hometown of Lake City, MN, which is where I am currently writing this blog. I was really excited because it was a chance to get off of campus for a few days and get some real homemade food. I never realized how lucky I had it in my own hometown. Don't get me wrong I really love the sense of freedom, but I'll never complain about what my mom makes for dinner anymore or having someone to do my laundry for me. Being here makes me miss my hometown, but it worries me a little bit because after talking with my friends I can tell it's different for them being here and not in a good way. It makes me wonder what it will be like when I go home and see all of my friends. Will we be awkward and shy or will it be like nothing has changed. I have a feeling that it won't be like things haven't changed because, like it or not, I know things are going to always be different when I go to Pella from how it was when it was my permanent place of residence. But I really do think that the friends I had in high school will be ones that I can always stay close to no matter how much time passes in between seeing each other. I think it has to do with the type of friendship we have. As cheesy as it sounds I genuinely care about each of my good friends, and I want to see them succeed in life and realize all of their goals. I truly enjoy being around them, and no matter what we're doing I always have fun. I had a completely different high school experience from many of the people I've talked to in college. My friends and I had no desire to go out and drink or party or smoke, and I think that does play a role in why we're such great friends. We weren't just hanging out because of a common desire to participate in those kinds of activities. Ok, I'm starting to ramble, and I hope it all makes sense because it's a little hard to put this thought process into words. I hope I can find the same types of friends here at college where we don't have to be doing anything in particular and can still have fun. I can't wait to go home next weekend though, and hopefully things won't be too different. I shouldn't worry so much though because whatever happens will happen and I'll just have to change with it. Hopefully I can survive another week!! :)

Jurassic Park

As we watched Jurassic Park the past few days in class I realized somthing that I haven't before, I really like that movie! I've seen it multiple times before, but I've never quite thought about how much I actually enjoy the movie. I still sit on the edge of my seat even when I know dinosaurs are going to pop out soon, and in my head I'm always rooting the characters on even though I know that they're going to survive. It seems weird to me that all of a sudden now I would realize that I really enjoy Jurassic Park, but I think it may be that I'm getting old enough to understand that the themes of the movie go beyond it just being a movie. I love being presented with bioethical questions, and Jurassic Park presents some of the big ones. Should we gentically modify creatures for desireable characteristics? Should cloning and increased stem cell research be allowed?How far is too far? In my opinion science has limits, and just because we are able to do something I don't necessarily think we should. Jurassic Park is a great example of this. Yes, the idea itself is far-fetched, but it represents a very current and ongoing debate. Humans don't and probably never will understand the power of life, evolution, and the creation of an organism and I think that's ok. There are some things that are probably best left unanswered because sometimes what we would do with that knowledge would be worse than never knowing at all. This is all my opinion of course, and I'm sure others certainly disagree. It's even hard for me because the idea that a cure for cancer could lie in experimenting with stem cells is a hard concept to just dismiss, but I think that it's important to keep in mind how far are we as a society willing to go? Besides the deep issues of the movie, I love the idea of how they were able to obtain dino DNA and recreate them even though it is technically impossible. However the movie is clever, charming, funny, inventive, suspenseful, and an overall great story, and I think that it may be one of my favorite movies because of this.

First weekend

Well...I have officially been here for 11 days now and have had my first official weekend at college. It was a pretty good weekend as weekends go, but I wish it wasn't over. I could almost pretend I didn't need to worry about homework or classes. Unfortunately that's just wishful thinking on my part. I'm starting to get over being homesick which is good I suppose, but it really makes me appreciate having a room to myself and home-cooked food. I'll be excited for that when I do get to go back home, and I suppose it's a good thing that college has made me appreciate those things more. I'm a little apprehensive thinking about having an entire week of school ahead of me, but college has been so different from high school that it isn't the same "school" that I've experienced before. Hopefully I'll survive! I'm interested to see how my labs go because it'll be very different from high school. I'm excited to see what tomorrow brings, but for now I better get ready for bed so that I get a good start to my week. Tomorrow I start choir and getting back in shape so we'll see how that all goes!

Justin